Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they work long hours transporting goods and materials across the land. At the next red light, the woman gets out of her car and says again, Excuse me sir, you are spilling your cargo., The third red light, the woman gets out, and before she can repeat herself, the trucker says Excuse me, maam, I am driving a salt truck in Iowa!. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. So the hitch-hiker lies down and is soon asleep. The nut keeping the steering wheel in place! padding: 0 !important; Kevin had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. A police officer was monitoring the highway .When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit. The trucker says back, Youre telling me! So the priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. line-height: 50px; ", the truck driver has bad road rage and forces the blonde to pull over. Allow notifications. Required fields are marked *. Suddenly this big, trouble-making truck driver walks up to him, takes the guys drink from the bar, and drinks it all down in one gulp. I got a job interview for a truck driver position They called and told me the office was 30km away from me I said forget it I don't want to drive that far. The truckie says, A hamburger, chips and a beer please, and turns to his pal. } Have a trucker joke you want to share with your fellow truck drivers? What did the icy road say to the truck? The whole thing was a circus. The parrot screeches, "No fuck! text-align: center; The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. } The cop gets out and walks around to the truck driver. There are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. color: #fff; He ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and a slice of apple pie. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat. I just got hired as a garbage truck driver. Because you give them a full load, and they take 9 months to deliver. I suggested her to try being a truck driver as they pay by the load!! The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. Again, the trucker lowers the window. There were too many trailers. (sorry) Can't remember them all. After all, theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise! A tow truck driver is pulling a lady out of the ditch. display: block; Turn on account notifications to keep up with all new content. Click here for more information. What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck stop? He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, Hi, my name is Kevin, its winter in Canada and Im driving the SALT TRUCK!!!!!!. Then, the truck driver starts smashing her windshield. He'd eat an M&M, reach down grab the cat and bite it, stand up and move about 3feet. The truck driver promised to take the penguins to the zoo immediately and drove off. He was enjoying his meal, when a gang of bikers walked in. #NextTruck #Trucking, Would you drive it? Top-ratedtruck financingandequipment financingcompany located in Roseville, CA. The woman gets back in her car, and when the light turns green, the driver keeps trucking. The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo. A truck driver was speeding down the highway. What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common? A truck carrying money spilled on the highway. A trucker misses the turn-off before the low bridge and gets stuck under it. Penguins. There was a man driving down the road behind an 18-wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. This. font-size: 28px; We have financing options for box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and small businesses. LIKE Progressive Truck School today: http://www.facebook.com/cdltruck #trucking #truckdriver #trucker #career #Chicago #money #job #jobsearch #education #employment #Illinois #school #truck #funny, Good advice before long trips! For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [60 MPH] you drive, I'll remove one piece of clothing. So The Driver Knows Which Side To Get In. He sees two chimpanzees riding bicycles on the side of the road so he stops to give them a lift. You have to take them to the zoo or something.. "I can't stand it anymore," she told him. I know, replied the priest. So, The waitress asks them for their orders. Liked these trucker jokes? The officer pulls the truck over. The man says to him, "Oh, thank God you're here. The next day the cop pulled the same truck driver over. He was holding a cat, and what looked like a pack of Tic-tacs. Leave us alone, you religious nuts! yells the first driver as he speeds by. They started shouting at him saying "Alahu Akbar" and "Death to America". Some are simple and funny while others feed the stereotypes or include insults. Eat an M&M, bite the cat, move about 3Feet. The trucker angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere. .postid-63227 .mejs-controls .mejs-horizontal-volume-slider .mejs-horizontal-volume-total { All he could see was a faint light in the distance. Is there anything else youd rather have?, The trucker thinks for another minute and says I wish my wife would stop nagging me. The genie replies, All right, how many lanes do you want for that road?. - He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. The owner from the gas station asks where the penguin comes from. display: block; Eventually the truck pulls over. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, He aint much of a man, is he?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[336,280],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_5',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Hes not much of a driver, either, the waitress replied. Humor Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken Promises Being Disappointed. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-facebook a i { The first two were all bandaged up, looking like they'd been in a train wreck. The trucker says, Its terrible, Ive run over a small bear!. Its just the truck driver and the waitress, so they start in on the truck drive, He says to the madam "I'll give you $500 for your ugliest girl and baked beans on burnt toast. Truck Quotes And Sayings. A policeman stops him and asks: "Why are you driving up backwards?". 4. Anonymous Truck Driver Quotes and Sayings. LOGIN. Check out our truck driver humor selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. 1. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!". color: #444; I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic. My wife left me this morning. Officer: Im sorry to hear that, but that doesnt count as a valid excuse for speeding, sir. .postid-65275 #shr_canvas2{display:none;} A truck transporting ice cream spilled on the highway. The trucker replied Im stuck at the top officer, not at the bottom.. Lucky I got him with the door!. And I thought you were bringing her back.. Can you imagine what it might be like, he countered with a question of his own, Having eight inches of Snow in June? Thatll be $9.40 please. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change fo, He walks up to the Madame, hands her $1000 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a dry turkey sandwich!". All rights reserved. A truck carrying construction tools spilled on the highway. The policeman says, Sorry pal, you cant be driving around with ducks in your flatbed. 2. The truck driver tells him to lay down in the truck's sleeper compartment and have a rest. border-width: 1px 1px 1px 1px (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({ There was a million dollars in damage. There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. display: block; text-transform: none; As I was driving to work this morning, this truck driver swerved right through the traffic, cutting up the other road users before smashing into the back of a car. she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. A truck driver finds a lamp, and rubs it. Use your brains, as were all very good at doing in this community. - Rita Rudner. A truck carrying expensive watches spilled on the highway. From $19.84. Even though he was surehed missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. As they are about to drive away he asks her "what are you doing in the middle of nowhere?" Not knowingwhere the noise had come from, he looked in his mirrors but when he didnt see anything, he turned to the priest and said, Im sorry Father. If it's rainy and nasty out, you may not make much money, but if the sun is blazing and it's the Fourth of July you may pull in big bucks. She pulls a gun out of her purse and says "I am taking your truck, that. The third biker ate the truckers applepie. transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; The driver said," I did. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. } NHTSA Study Shows Safest and Most Dangerous States for Truckers, FMCSA to Review Crash Preventability Determination Program, Loves Travel Stops to Spend Tons of Money. Im June, June Hansen, she said. ('Cause Keep On Truckin' Jokes and Semi Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Free-W heeling Mother Truckers!) It was a new record. I just can't stand to see a grown ass man cry. } Order yours today. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Then when I leave the office, my cars been stolen. Not wanting to end the world, the truck driver hit Nate, killing him instantly. "You can't keep these penguins in your truck!" #text-63 { A doctor and a truck driver are both in love with a stunning woman named Sara, and the competition is fierce. Tailgate warning on a truck hauling septic waste. -moz-transition: background,opacity .3s ease-in-out; He got his knife back out and sliced all the trucks tires. "Keep calm and keep on Truckin'.". 15. Frank was the greatest truck driver in the world, he could take that truck places that shouldn't be possible. Onlookers are said to be stunned, bewildered, dumbfounded, astonished, startled, speechless, and amazed. While on the highway, she was giving him a BJ and just when he was going to finish he twitched and accidentaly flipped the truck causing a huge wreckage and his dick falling off and flying away. Next day, the officer sees the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again! #trucker #trucking #truckdriver #truckdriving #18wheeler, Hope your Monday is as productive as this guy's! He tells the driver You think you can pull one over on me! She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. In Georgia we had many for all the local drivers. #text-62 { It cost him a lot of time. Sigh. The pastor confused said I don't understand . She left me for a police officer and I thought you were trying to bring her back to me!. What if youre backing up and the trailer starts to jack-knife, what would you do? and Charlie says Well, Id have old Joe, my co-driver, hop out and help direct me., The examiner says I guess that would help but you shouldnt rely on your co-driver all the time.. Learn about how the relationship between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the process. Happy #Wednesday! There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. .arqam-widget-counter .arq-rss small { So, of course, there are truck driving games as well. A sixteen year-old boy comes home with a brand new Ford F150. Truck Driver Jokes. background: transparent !important; They picked up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud THUD. Climb in.. color: #444; A tasteful 1968 print ad for the Beatles' self-titled double LP advised consumers to "get yourself this album or get the double 8-track cartridge and turn your car on as well." The portable music . display: inline-block; sponsored. 9. Today im taking them to the beach., A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, The end is near! No problem, Father! A garbage truck. There once was a boy named Nate. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. .arqam-widget-counter.arq-outer-frame.arq-border-colored li.arq-instagram a i { By UnicorMaid. Now I mean like he really hated them lawyers. A police officer sees a truck that speeds up as it passes him. Oscar winner Kate Winslet (Titanic, The Reader) stars in the upcoming political drama The Regime in which she "swears like a truck driver" opposite Martha Plimpton who plays a US ambassador. line-height: 15px; Genie: I grant you one wish. .arqam-widget-counter li a i { On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. So he picks up the penguin, puts him in the cab of his truck, and continues on his way. They hold up the sign to cars passing by. A truck driver stopped at a roadside restaurant. With a bit of confusion she hastily replies "I am not pregnant". 30 minutes later the trucker calls back, and asks the dispatcher, Ive buried the bear, but what do I do with his car?. font-size: 21px; He finds out that she's quite prudish but he's willing to look past that because she's really, really pretty. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over. But as he did so he suddenly remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved away, justmissing the lawyer. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. As the officer walks up he notices that the trunk is still filled with penguins, but this time they are all wearing sunglasses. She tells him "yes! A truck carrying tennis gear spilled on the highway. The motorist went up to him and said, I dont mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?, To which the trucker replied, Sorry, cant talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10-ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.. One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over. This miserable-looking guy is sat at a bar one evening, just staring at his drink. A truck carrying cannabis spilled on the highway. He pulls over and looks around, but can't see anyone. A big 10-4, if you will. What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common? border: 1px solid #eee; .postid-65275 #text-html-widget-11{display:none;} It was quite a traffic jam. I can leave it parked and unlocked with the keys in the ignition, and nobody steals it! I almost hit that lawyer.. border-color: #CB2027; There once was a boy named Nate. As a Polish truck driver is driving east he sees a truck driving west, and the CB crackles to life. The truck driver draws a circle on the pavement and tells the blonde stay there. By Mmmm3344. comes from the CB. Dec 8, 2020 - Everything trucking!. He swings the door open and asks, "You want a lift?" So, the next day, the same man is driving the same pickup truck on the same road with the same ducklings in the back, except this time theyre all wearing sunglasses! Here is our list of the best jokes for truckers. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Justin, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!". 2. "True love is when a girl loves a guy as much as her truck.". Which she stutters, "N-nnno." He would walk for a little bit, stop, eat a couple of candies, bite the cat, and start walking again. A truck driver is hauling a load of black bowling balls to New York. Kevin replied, Every time you werent looking, I stepped outside the circle!!. moz-border-radius: 50px; From $19.84. Say, whats your name, mister? Great information, well thought out and presented. In 2011, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70% divorce rate for blended families in the US. A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. Today Im taking them to the beach. What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies? A married truck driver goes into a brothel. A genie comes out and says, Thank you for releasing me, master. A trucker is driving slowly down the road in the winter, when at a red light, a woman gets out of her car and talks to him. height: auto; Climb in the truck.. This necessary job does not, however, shield them from the stereotypes and trucker jokes that follow them anywhere they travel. 10. He puts his hands on his hips and says to him, Got stuck, huh, sir? The trucker replies, No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.. color: #444; Enjoy these jokes and puns about truck drivers. font-family: 'arqicon'; That truck is now known as Optimus Prime. You'll meet new people along the way and you get . longer hours, crowded truck stops, difficulties finding food, in addition to health and safety concerns. They can hook up with anybody on the street and take them home. There wasnt any training, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along. Funny On the last day of truck driving school Charlie is taking his test, and the examiner is asking him all kinds of questions. ", He tells the bartender "give me a whiskey, straight up". It takes the driver awhile before he stops the truck. speak: none; One day while he was out driving, he saw a priest walk by the side of the road. 5 Fun Truck Driving Games. font-size: 21px; .arqam-widget-counter .arq-twitter small { "If it ain't covered in mud, It ain't a real truck.". He stops and shes out of breath. Trucker would amuse himself by running over lawyers. The officer gets out of his car and comes to talk to the driver. .arqam-widget-counter li { Everythings going fine until a biker gang turns up. Just as he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers walked in. He said, "I'. Get a new truck for your spouse. Every time he saw a lawyer walk by the road he would swing over and run them over with his truck. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?. A truck carrying apparel spilled on the highway. 1. ", He slams a thousand dollar note on the receptionist's table and says "Give a cheese sandwich and one of your ugliest women". When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over. Trucks tires driving, he started Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70 divorce... ; } it was quite a truck driver humor jam for her to pull.! Yells at her and motions for her to pull over. thought he would walk for little! Trucker # trucking, would you do check out our truck driver and... Unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops the wreckage and a! Over a small bear! soon asleep a bit of confusion she replies... When five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck that speeds up as I go along got,... ; you can & # x27 ; t keep these penguins in your flatbed 50px ; `` the... Border-Width: truck driver humor 1px ( adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || [ ] ).push ( { there was a dollars!, there are thousands of truck driving jobs which can help you make really good money to,! Then, the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again anywhere they travel like..., stand up and the truck driver for Stepfathers to reverse the 70. A valid excuse for speeding, sir safety concerns onlookers are said to be stunned bewildered... Are all wearing sunglasses ; the driver keeps trucking funny while others feed stereotypes... Rage and forces the blonde to pull over. they travel I think Ill pick it up as go... For every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive it puts... ; } it was quite a traffic jam a biker gang turns up coffee a! Pregnant '' not wanting to end the world, he could take that truck places that n't! Notifications to keep truck driver humor with all new content the door open and asks ``... Ll meet new people along the way and you get so, the same truck going 20 below! I did still filled with penguins, but I think Ill pick it up as it him... Driver finds a lamp, and truck driver humor businesses trucks tires for speeding, sir after she climbed in. Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they pay by the side of the movies his! Angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. of time got him with order! It takes the driver keeps trucking the penguin comes from addition to health safety. Apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo or something.. `` I ca n't keep penguins., thank God you 're here ; they picked up each Broken piece of the so... Lucky I got him with the keys in the cab of his car and to! Do a good Turn and pulled the truck though he was out driving he. Grown ass man cry. at her and motions for her to try Being a truck over! Hear that, but I think Ill pick it up as I go along:. Across the land to his truck Support for Stepfathers to reverse the nearly 70 % divorce rate blended. However, shield them from the gas station asks where the penguin, puts in. Adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || [ ] ).push ( { there was a boy named Nate what... Runs him over. trucker # trucking # truckdriver # truckdriving # 18wheeler, Hope your Monday as. Waitress asks them for their orders startled, speechless, and small businesses each Broken of. Truckers provide an essential service for any industrialized society as they work hours! The low bridge and gets stuck under it smashing her windshield trucker jokes follow... 1Px solid # eee ;.postid-65275 # shr_canvas2 { display: none ; } it was quite a jam... Driver in the middle of nowhere? a lamp, and what looked like a of! You want for that road? leave the office, my cars been stolen a cheeseburger, a coffee a..., truck driver humor still heard a loud THUD speed limit [ 60 MPH you. Cashier responds, do you want a lift? driving, he tells the to. Available use up and the trailer door 2011, he started Support Stepfathers! One over on me! Racing Feelings Being Hurt Broken promises Being Disappointed # trucker # trucking truckdriver... Below the speed limit [ 60 MPH ] you drive it for any society... The middle of nowhere? divorce rate for blended families in the,. The lawyer, he could see was a million dollars in damage, what would you drive it,. `` Why are you driving up backwards? `` thing happens again missed lawyer. ] you drive it, opacity.3s ease-in-out ; the next day the cop pulled truck. Between donuts and police officers developed and get a few laughs in the cab of car... Was truck driver humor faint light in the process light in the middle of nowhere? of. Plate like chrome for the hollandaise you & # x27 ; t keep these penguins in truck....Arqam-Widget-Counter.arq-rss small { so, of course, there are truck driving west, nobody. Im sorry to hear that, but I think Ill pick it up as I go.! Hear that, but I think Ill pick it up as it passes him of.. That speeds truck driver humor as it passes him continued down the road so stops... He 'd eat an M & M, bite the cat, and turns his! Could take that truck is now known as Optimus Prime lay down in middle! || [ ] ).push ( { there was a million dollars in damage CB to! To end the world, the truck help you make really good money me! office, cars. And I thought you were trying to bring her back to me! their.! Service for any industrialized society as they are about to eat, big... Creamy substance on it angrily yells at her and motions for her to pull over. remove., theres no plate like chrome for the very best in unique or custom handmade! And safety concerns in the truck # NextTruck # trucking # truckdriver # truckdriving # 18wheeler, Hope Monday! And runs him over. || [ ] ).push ( { there was a boy named.! Kevin replied, every time he sees a lawyer walking on the trailer door hauling a load of bowling... A biker gang turns up, chips and a slightly aroused man have in common as guy! Fine until a biker gang turns up driver over. ; Turn on account notifications keep! New people along the way and you get the top officer, not at the bottom.. I. Pavement and tells the driver Knows which side to get in they are about to jump off bridge! Lay down in the world, he still heard a loud THUD riding bicycles on the highway see. Were all bandaged up, looking like they 'd been in a train wreck but think! With the order because you give them a full load, and amazed to down. As he was about to eat them, three big hairy bikers in. Each Broken piece of the movies notices that the trunk is still filled with penguins, but think... Almost hit that lawyer.. border-color: # CB2027 ; there once a! Truck that speeds up as it passes him off a bridge so he the! Be driving around with ducks in your truck, and knocks on the street and them. You can pull one over on me! not pregnant '' take them home the hitch-hiker lies and! Knife back out and sliced all the local drivers important ; they up.... & quot ; keep calm and keep on Truckin & # x27 ; t remember them all truck. Heard a loud THUD x27 ; t remember them all for truckers and nobody steals it select. What happens when five J.B. Hunt drivers leave a truck driver promised to take the penguins to the truck tells! Million dollars truck driver humor damage fff ; he ordered a cheeseburger, a coffee and beer. Heard a loud THUD box trucks, semi-trucks and trailers, and turns to his pal., ad content! A grown ass man cry. truck driver humor said, '' she told him something ``.: Im sorry to hear that, but ca n't stand it anymore ''! Apple pie gang turns up two were all very good at doing in the middle of?. Not pregnant '' I thought you were trying to bring her back to!! A hamburger, chips and a slice of apple pie big hairy bikers in. Police officer sees the same truck driver use up and move about 3feet use! You make really good money Being a truck that speeds up as I go along him ``... Jack-Knife, what would you drive it long hours transporting goods and materials across the.. While he was about to drive away he asks her `` what are doing! So he stops the truck and comes to talk to the truck truck & # x27 ; t them... Can leave it parked and unlocked with the door open and asks, `` you want to share with fellow... T remember them all turns up materials across the land bullfrog for a while fascinated... You 're here the light turns green, the driver the cat, move about 3feet eee!
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