The current child support system completely encourages monetary monopoly incentives with no equal parenting initiatives and most monetary monopolies are controlled thru corrupt gender biased woman who try to corrupt the process more and more in favor of their financial gains while enterprising the children. Yeah nothing wrong with that. Paying 300, 500 per month?? I got an apology, but still. Things dont always go the way we want them to. Ex. Sometimes we only see her once every two months). I guess I just needed to vent my frustration with the whole system. My key did not work, she changed the lock out I knew nothing about this. But by law she is still entitled to get child support (tax free) even though she has a very successful career. Ive spent the last day and a half searching the internet for some sort of solution and so far all Ive found is a bunch of policies that make sense on the surface but lack the emotional depth necessary to determine a fair shake for everyone involved. But I never stop paying her child support because I wouldve had to put my kids on the stand. This is such a blessing for us. The great news is that you are already aware of the problem being 50/50 custody and split households. Isnt that a two way street. I came home one early morning to surprise my family been away about 9 months. Only for her to go for child support which she never paid to him she was barley in their childrens lives before they were 3 and 4 . Both women and men are guilty of being that way.Women are not perfect and men are not perfect and as long as the courts are biased nothing will ever change. All of this is satisfactory to our horrible flawed court system. It is impossible for the father to have a decent life and have fun times with the kids and give them the things he would like to when he has to give 50% of his income to the mother. Thats why its not going to change because nobody does anything about it because it afends people who think your ex deserves half of your check because the government uses you as a scape goat so they dont have to pay for anything so they make you pay a ridiculous amount so that ex is satisfied and wont ask for anymore hand outs. Collect tons of child support. I have been dealing with the same issue. Best way I can describe him is he is/was a non-participating parent. She left without my knowing over three years ago from Texas to Pennsylvania and I have not seen my now 16 year old since. 5 years now. This is a biased environment and isnt the American way people come to expect in a court of law. It sounds like a . JOIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims . If money isnt the most important thing, and time, emotional support is, then the father has to have equal access. If fathers are young, they may have no means of providing financial support to the mother or child. This is not fatherhood. Freedom being not having to find childcare, being able to go out whenever or wherever they want, not dealing with teenage drama or temper tantrums, making sure the kids are respectful civilized human beings etc. Meanwhile, women are demoted to 50% custody parentslosing the babies theyve carried, nursed, took work off to care for, loved and nurtured and know like the back of their hands. They just want money. The payments were so high I eventually became homeless. Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. Courts awarded her $1000/mo because of the RENTAL value of the church house we were living in (we could not profit from rental or sale of this houseit belonged to the church). On and For the record, 42 USC was never passed into POSITIVE LAW! Lisa STOP far more great fathers are being fucking over by dead beat mothers looking for a handout! Its a different world from back then. We also split any extra costs (medical, etc.) If she is in fact withholding visitation, take her to court. (I live in Florida if that helps) they may have an unofficial agreement that hasnt been brought to court (Im not exactly sure about that) im Afraid that if my dad stops paying the support than my mom will try to bring it to court and do something crazy. it is a human rights issue that disproportionately and unethically affects fathers and their children to the tune 97% of all obligations financially insofar as child support payments are the father paying it- whether they are a better parent and excellent or not, whether they were domestically abused by the mother or not, whether the children were abused by the mother or not, whether the mother has a criminal history or not and even whether the father has actual custody or not not moms getting that insane obligation percentage across the board. And even if she HAS worked, she still does a majority of the caretaking of the kids after work, stays home with sick kids, taking them to doctor, etc. If your father is paying alimony to your mother, then no. And which is so sad and painful to see the corruption that is going on in America, its not the war on deadbeat dads, its now the war on Dads. Child Support. So it isnt about whats best for the kid? Also, if the father has recently lost his job or suffered a large decrease in income, this may too be grounds for abolishing the payments. I agree 100% ive been dealing with this for years snd they recently quadrupled it! HERE IN SC, THEY GO ACCORDING TO YOUR INCOME AND HE MAKES MORE THAN ENOUGH, AND YET MAYBE MAKE A PAYMENT EVERY 2-3MONTHS. Your right, support and involvement are dealt with separately. Welfare is not the parents money, it is effectively child support paid by the state because the custodial parent cant or wont pay. Thats it! There should be no wealth transfer! There are no soup kitchens around here. We have no visitation schedules, as long as it doesnt interfere with school he can get her/see her whenever he/she wants/ is able. Hopefully in time it does :(. My daughters mother put she was only making 8.50 an hour working 28/hrs a week when she filed for child support. True story. In the event of a divorce the true best interests of the child can never be realized anymore. True.., pretty good read, too, I looked up the memo, Im suprised I hadnt come across it earlier Seriously once I got ruined I couldnt get back out of the loop, it just keeps and the fees the state charges for all of that is nonsense. The other reason why I didnt take her to court because the judicial system is all in favor of the woman and not the kids or fathet. He got her for child support and took full custody of the children said she was going to leave the state which is not true. An second if someones co worker ends up with the women you love are you going to remain at that job no you are going to asked to be moved to a different department which may impact what you make or you find a different job. I got my camera phone recording as I did not know what to expect. But the judge wont do anything either because the laws are so concrete or the judge is a jerk. Gets paid straight cash, and has since 1997. Make sure you get a decent lawyer because shes a woman and automatically has the law on her side. thats because they lower it so much . I know because my ex-husband tried to run me up on one. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. Ive been paying child support for 19 years in the state of NY and to date its at $148,450 PAID! Were in it together,, to make things right for our children. There is no shortage of evidence showing that shared parenting helps offset the negative effects of divorce. Instead at 33 years old with an 8 year old child, she chooses to live at home and work a job in a doctors office full time making $30k per year lol!! We shouldnt be financially struggling just because we have been divorced with a child. I have expressed my concerns to her dad (when I still talked to him) and he never has any response other than that our daughter knows he loves her. We requested a modification in writing and never got a response. 4) Why doesnt the man ever get custody? And I have no criminal record. Is anyone else in this situation? Same with trying to get better housing, so he wouldnt have to go to his sisters house every time he had his children. Why do you say its fine to pay child support, would it not be better to have equal time with your children????? I havent found any groups to help with child supportall for women. If you say its just bevause of visitation your WRONG. I have always been a strong provider and have always helped my family as best as possible while we were a unit. While fathers skipping out on their child support responsibilities certainly shouldnt be ignored, current research suggests the deadbeat dad is probably more of an outlier than the status quo. So with all of this, I still have to pay support. The mother of my step kids (who are now 17 and 19) is a lazy, selfish, self admitted pot smoker, drinker and pill popper. She makes 160k a year. The current system DOES NOT incorporate the rights of the person who has to provide Child Support; more often than not, they say, Provide or youll be labeled a dead beat piece of shit, your wages will be garnished and youll likely be thrown out on the street because you have no money, but we dont give a shit. The courts have tried to make it standard. Problem is I havent gotten a single child support payment. Exactly, or even unequal time if that is what works better at time; u can always change up if needed. If the dads were given the same rights and respect as the moms, maybe thered be more parenting done the mature adult way..doing whats best for the child (children). Call The Firm For Men, located conveniently in Virginia Beach, at 757-383-9184, or contact us online, to learn how we can help you with your child support, modification, garnishment and related issues. SMHeven the judge said WOW! Now I fear if I get pulled over for any reason, Ill end up in jail. There is too much money to be made in respect to how it is. Im not lonely on the holidays. GUESS WHAT.STILL DOESNT PROVIDE ENOUGH! We both decided to go out separate ways, however that doesnt mean that he has to support me . Its ridiculous. AMEN to your story. I have to save for a month to be able to take them to a movie. And I do the right thing for my child. I have 3 children by a man. Get an attorney asap. The age of the children. And parental alienation is against the law despite whether or not youve paid your child support. I allow him. No government should ever get in the way of this fundamental right to parent your own children. custodial parents are kidnappers. They have a study on some program while incarcerated and after release that support obligations are better being paid. If India passes new law (already tabled in parliamen) then a wife can even claim property of in-laws including parental and ancestrel property of husband which is today limited to pre and post marriage property of husband only. And just because he doesnt give me anything I dont throw fits, Im actually happy that at least he trys to get involved in my kids life. If I didnt find a roommate in time I would owe a lot of money. You only have one kid and you can barely afford it but hes supposed to support you too? You are not entitled to them. Also EXPARTE YOUNG. I hired an attorney who I thought was after my best interest for my divorce. Thats the whole point. (Im sure you can sense the dripping sarcasm.). Then how much do you think your ex has to pay in additional food/rent/utilities/car/gas? Im really glad you made it a priority for dad to get his 50% custody. I am not a perfect parent, but I could never treat my kids this way. The system is completely broke. After 10 years of never being late, my husband had major surgery and was out of work for a year we kept paying until we couldnt and did the right thing and made a court date. Bravo! N they gave us a week to make a payment an have it show up in there system when it takes a couple weeks to process it which sounds like they dont care if she makes the payment or not. I just dont see how the Courts expect us to be able to make AND have a normal relationship with our kids. My wifes car and a car I did not know was in the driveway. The judge of course signs a warrant for arrest, and also a sizeable lien on my house for the exs attorney and legal fees, and liquidated damages. My husband is also going through a horrible mess with an interstate child support mess. My brother in law gets less then 200 a month for twins and i pay 770 a month for one kid. I just want to take a moment to thank you for your post. So when you actually do get out, you are in debt, and the cycle continues. My story? Do you know that this man made sure that every time he went into a room, he was in front of one of those units? Its like she still wants to receive more just because he makes more money. Then she still didnt let him. Well thats not fair. The Federal Parent Locator Service uses a national database to track down noncustodial parents to enforce payments. Though I understand what this article is trying to say I dont fully agree with it. What you can do is move out of your grandmothers basement and try to provide a stable environment for your child instead of depending on them to raise your child. Love it , I basically am paying for my ex to buy cigarettes and not send my daughter to school. What do I do? I am so thankful for our ability to not use our child as a weapon or greed. I demanded 50/50 joint with no legal custodial, even though the standard was to me. Now that I see it from the fathers side I cant believe how one-sided this system is. The law should be added to so that those women don't have several babies and then wait for the child support to come in. What if dad is sick or injured and can no longer work for say 2 years . There must be no good men because 90% of custody cases are awarded to women. You want your kids? When the children were with us, he was 100% involved, and when they went home to their mother, he still continued to try to be involved in the raising of the children. The biggest problem I see with these cases is that everyone tried to make their case the poster child for this situation and thats on both sides. He got him a girlfriend and he lets his daughter live with his girlfriends dad and uncle and her two little daughters. Child support may be ordered when the parents are separated, have never lived together, or are in divorce, dissolution of marriage, annulment, or in the midst of paternity and legal separation cases. If support needs to be extended due to them still being in school, or going to college, as some states allow support to continue for, you can call the state, and they will reinstate it for you. I pay $530 a month for 1 child i have a great job with lots of hours and great pay but my job lost the contract to the city that i work in due to being underbid by another company i have been working in the same city for 9 years this recently happend in november my hours went from 60-65 a week to 40 i also have 3 more kids with my wife all of this was pit into how much i would be paying and the number they came up with $530 a month i filled the paper work to see if they can drop the payment i filled out all the paper work they sent for me to fill out i sent my past w2s to show how much it dropped sent check stubs from last year and some from this year showing how much it dropped this was 2 months ago i have yet to get a single letter or phone call about it im struggling every week withy bills and my wife cant find work its really hard. Meanwhile, their mother has written off my son and refused to help with anything now that hes emancipated. It is important to note that a judge has the right to supersede this agreement if they feel it is unfair. I just know that I did not create/produce her alone and I shouldnt have to take care of her alone. Too many good fathers are being forced into poverty over this ridiculous system. There is probably an applicable claims statute meaning you have to first file a claim against the county and it has to be denied before you can proceed to file an action (99.9% of all claims are denied by the county at the last possible moment). RetiredIm 70. The majority still cry for more, while the suicide rates for boys and men rise 3 to 5 times higher than women and girls. Because hes a guy he needs to be treated badly?!? Last September, the Supreme Court of Canada confirmed a parent's ability to make a retroactive claim for child support. In addition to our bedrock issues of men's equal rights, fathers rights and men's reproductive rights, The National Center For Men has consistently addressed dozens of other important gender issues . You are bitter because you lost your son 50% of the time. Im with you my wife cheated and im the bad guy?!? I was lucky enough to work an assignment to the state where her and our child lived so that I could be closer to him as Summers and holidays were just not enough. As stated by someone above I am a money supplier and a babysitter. Not all men are deadbeats and they also charge interest on past support. Fast forward to today and I get a lien on my bank account I was counting on some money that we were given as donation to use it for bills and gas but they just took it all. Daycare is not a need. Insofar as the childrens rights? Being she makes 60k plus over you she should be getting less and paying half the insurance. I saw first hand how the court system simply does not care about anything you have to say in regards to your parenting rights being taken from mom without any valid reason it is truly sad but Im hopeful things are gonna change. I totally agree with you. Black slaver, Jim Crowe and apartheid were laws as well. Because after all saying oh I can pay $200 isnt a reasonable request. Id wash my hands and make me and them dinner, put in laundry then go to bed. In total does about $125000 a year now , who knows if is more. And lets not forget that the non custodial parent still pays for everything while the child is with them. She gave custody to my father, but she also made him continue paying child support. As Graham points out, 29 percent of families in the system live below the federal poverty line. I really dont get it why should he have to pay more just because we decided to have a better income. you do to the other side of the equation, it remains equal. But it is obvious the current laws need significant restructuring. Ive been alienated for years and have had essentially no Parenting Time. These are just some of the most troubling issues men and fathers face in today's society, according to Dr. Gordon Finley, a professor of psychology at Florida International University who researches fatherhood and divorce. amen! I continue to lobby my legislators to have them use a self-support sustenance reserve to allow them to tell the difference between deadbroke and deadbeat parents, and to then use that self-support reserve to measure child support compliance by the percentage of parents with the means to pay child support that are sharing the responsibility for providing for their childrens needs. Long story short: she made us move with her, which became an issue between my sister and I with her. We could split the cost of the 4 days or better yet split the time and make it an even 50/50. Shame on people who complain about child support. November 15, 2022. We get my step daughter every weeks 3 days a week every week and her mother has her 4 days. Laugh Maniacally. Best said by attorney Melanie McCulley: When a female determines she is pregnant, she has the freedom to decide if she has the maturity level to undertake the responsibilities of motherhood, if she is financially able to support a child, if she is at a place in her career to take the time to have a child, or if she has other concerns precluding her from carrying the child to term. New laws need to be passed in child support. View a full listing of offices nationwide. Your email address will not be published. Period. I never even considered child support. What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? Check out our Virginia Child Support Calculator. She controls with money and has lied about receiving payments as revenge for us remarrying. Surely there some men out there that are capable of being the monetary and human being support system for said child. However, when his ex allowed first his daughter, then his son to drop out of school, drive without having a license, and let their current boyfriend/girlfriend move in with them, the courts did nothing. They make noncustodial parents finance their childrens college education, but they dont make married parents pay for their childrens college educations?????! There are a couple of other pages, but its the same thing in other languages. I sold my car and I walk with a back pack everywhere. She has been staying with me for 3 years. I started having panic attacks behind the wheel after the terrible courtroom manipulation and legal abuse had occurred and i delivered mail. Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. Even if she makes 2-3 more an hour her house nite is more than one of he paychecks lol. Do you see some of these complainers?? Or is it just to boost our industrial prison system? He eventually gets a job and after working there for months he and his company receives garnishment notice . we have a 4 years old daughter in which I was still supporting until I left the house. I make $80k per year, take home $3,900 after health insurance and taxes. My dad was a terrible husband but was a great father. So I pay $560 per month for child support while I only make after taxes about $1,000 per month. So now in the rare event that he does call his kid its only to make false promises and to gloat about his trips with the new girlfriend to Las Vegas and how he just sued someone and won and got compensated for that. My goal is to raise a well rounded emotionally stable child peace, Child support is on top of child supportso dads in sd pay their child support and also half of daycareforces dads into poverty, I would like to see receipts for expenses for children through child support services, so child support is paying for moms drug or alcohol habits. There are no outlets, besides grassroot organizations for single fathers to reach when dealing with child support cases. They view child support as "extortion" instead of taking care of their responsibilities to their children. Domestic relations should investigate her by searching her ss# and see for themselves. My kids have a roof over there head, clothes on their back, shoes on their feet, and food on their table, BECAUSE of the Lord and ME! What do I say? What people dont understand is i didnt just divorce my ex i divorced my kids. that they should share 50/50? whats amazing to me is that, we all know the system is outdated and not fair, but does ANYONE with any power do anything to try and change these really messed up laws? no becuase if they did that means that there will be less jobs, all those people whol get paid from the system would be jobless, so to hell with the middle and low income people. Low income families CANNOT sustain the current model, and especially fathers and mothers (yes both) who cant afford this system. Stop using your kids to get brownie points and do the job. If the costs were truly added up and split 50/50, they should actually be paying more than they are complaining about. The problem is that all of us good fathers, as evident by the comments on this site, are lapped together with all the real deadbeats out there. 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